Oh Christmas Tree!

Eikon and I decorated our first Christmas tree tonight. My mother gave me a box of ornaments. Some of them were Christmas gifts from her, others were from my grandma's tree which I helped to decorate every year. It was sort of wierd, I felt like I was hanging my life on the tree - and at the same time there was a sense of what Mom wanted for me, along the way. The musical instrument ornaments, a collections of clowns. . .well anyway, there was something very sentemental about this ritual that reminded me of my childhood.

It wasn't always good, per-se. I always remember wanting my mom to be as excited about decorating for Christmas as I was - but she wasn't. I imagine she was sad about not being around her sisters - and maybe her parents being gone. Anyway, I was always the Christmas person around the house - make that psycho-christmas decorating boy.
I hang myself on a tree,
like Jesus,
but no blood-
and little redemption.